Back in the Saddle.....Roethlisberger Style!!

After a long layoff, the blog is back in action and you can all breathe a collective sigh of relief.............and breathe again........good!  AH, where to begin?  So much has happened in the sports world (non-Tiger related) that it's tough to focus on one thing, so let's start with the easiest, and that is the Man-who-wears-no-pants Big Ben Roethlisberger (arch-nemesis of Brett Favre, who wears Wrangler Jeans....ALWAYS).  I don't have much adivce to offer him except to attempt to keep from walking around with his phallus hanging about.  I personally have never tried that move on a girl, especially in public, and from the feedback females in the Pittsburgh area have been giving, it isn't exactly "on point" in terms of a classy move.  Bravo Ben, way to stay young at heart.  Marhsall Mathers (otherwise known as Eminem for all you hipsters out there) has already jumped on the anti-Ben bandwagon with lyrics to an upcoming song stating "I'd rather turn this club into a bar room brawl. Get as rowdy as Roethlisberger in a bathroom stall".  Does it get any better than that reference when your an NFL superstar?  NOPE!  Did Marshall and I just become best friends?  YUP!!

Next up: NFL Draft.  I'm not going to delve into this too much, but here is my analysis:

Winners: Buccaneers, Lions (yes, the Detroit Lions), Ravens, Bengals, Seahawks, Browns, Chefs (Chiefs, remember that commercial?  HILARIOUS!!! Right?)

Losers: BRONCOS - You are going to invest your life into Tim Tebow?  Really?  Good kid, hard worker, NOT an NFL quarterback.  They traded up for a huge project, average at best NFL quarterback, not a smart move, but hey, I'm pulling for you kid, it's not like you forced them to gamble on you. 

Jaguars....just stupid, stupid people running the show here.  Their GM quotes "I'm not trying to win a popularity contest" after drafting a no-name DT early in the first round.  Is that right?  Are you trying to prove you are the Isiah Thomas of the NFL then instead?  Do you understand you can get a STUD that early in the draft, DO YOU?!?!  I guess not.

Eagles, this includes their whole off-season and trading McNabb to the 'Skins.  Thanks Andy Reid, and go fuck yourself because now Giants fans still gotta see this guy for 2 games a season.  You look like a walrus.  I win.

Being a Giants fan, they drafted a bunch of unproven, super atheletic dudes. JPP has an 81-inch wingspan and runs a 4.70 40 time.  3 words come to mind in describing him....LARGE, BLACK, FAST. That translates well in the NFL.....plus he can backflip like 15 times in a row....that's great in football, right?  The offensive lineman they drafted in the 5th round benched 225lbs 45 times at the combine....needless to say, he'd probably beat me in a shoving match. I'm taking a wait and see approach, because who knows what these guys will do on the field.....hopefully all the draft picks will combine into Voltron and destroy opposing players....seriously, I think they'd attract a few more viewers.

In other news, the NCAA tournament has been expanded to 68 teams.....LAME!  But at least it's not 96...or 108....or 315.  I mean it's PERFECT the way it is......why try to fix something that isn't broken?  Oh, because the NCAA can squeeze more money out.....right, I forgot that MONEY is the point of the Tournament.  Not TEAMWORK, or GREAT BASKETBALL, or THRILLING FINISHES, or COLLEGE BOOSTERS, or COLLEGE CHEERLEADERS, or BEER SPONSORS.....sorry, got off topic for a second there.....you get my point though.